Lately, I've been thinking a lot about relationships and connections. I was talking to my coach, yep even coaches have coaches, about values. I even did an assessment to truly understand what was most important to me. No great surprise that relationships and connections were at the top of my list.
So I started to really think about the connections I make with family, friends, colleagues, clients, future friends, and acquaintances. For me, the old sayings of "the ties that bind us" and "you get out what you put in" really hold true. So I'm looking at how I can bind those ties more and be more open to letting people in, so I can make deeper connections.
I've been listening to Brené Brown, and if you haven't heard of her, take the time to check her out, she's amazing. She talks about vulnerability being the birthplace of love, belonging, joy and empathy, and if you think about it, isn't that what relationships and connections really are? All of this takes a lot of courage. So, I've made a commitment to be more vulnerable, and therefore more courageous in my life. For me, vulnerability is embracing the "stupid" questions. They say no questions are stupid, but let's be honest, when you are in a group and you ask a question and you hear only crickets all around, it sure feels like a stupid question. :) But, I'm embracing that and finding the courage to ask those questions anyway. More times than not, someone else was thinking the same way. And there you have it, another connection has been made.
In order to build strong relationships, and continue to be vulnerable, I am focusing on being brave enough to tell people what I'm thinking and feeling, truly thinking and feeling. This to me is being my true self. I no longer want to assume I understand what that look was for or why I didn't get added to the group text. Maybe I just need some clarification, maybe I'm misinterpreting something, maybe it's not about me at all. To find the answers I need to be vulnerable and tell people how I'm feeling. Sharing my thoughts opens me up to others, and that’s where the connections happen. Now I'm owning this. When my husband asks, "How was your day?," I don't just tell him what I did. I take the time to think about how I really am. I share with him what happened, the wins and losses, the highs and lows. In the end, he shares with me and our connection grows.
I'm also sharing more, being more intimate with people around me. Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm NOT talking in a sexual way, but in that open, tell people about myself kinda way. I'm sharing stories, bonding over commonalities and just letting people in. Sharing about myself invites others to share with me, and isn't that the ultimate connection? If you read the last blog you learned that I tried out for the cheerleading team in my younger years, not even hubby knew that one. After supporting me through the blogging process my tech person, Heather revealed that she too tried to be a cheerleader, both of us failed, both of us were devastated (for a little while) and now both of us have a special, secret cheerleading connection.
Let's find the ties that bind us.
Be vulnerable. Be true to yourself. Let people in.
So, I'll start: I like teenage vampire shows, Team Edward all the way.
Your turn. :)